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Monday 22 November 2010

Guest blogger: Dan Gilmore. “Who do you prefer: He-Man or McGuyver?”

Dan Gilmore is a old work pal of mine and has started blogging. So I asked him to feature as guest blogger here... and convinced him to write his own bio:

"Dan is a creative chap, which means his thoughts are usually far, far away from the things that other grown-ups fret about. He runs the website of a children's hospital charity in Brisbane, annoys his housemate with banjo music, and rocks a stylish cowboy hat. Dan Does NaNoWriMo is his first attempt at a serialised dating memoir."

Here is a piece entitled "Speed Dating", by Dan does NaNoWriMo

“Who do you prefer: He-Man or McGuyver?”

Of the people sitting around the table, four noses crinkle, one mouth laughs, and one face asks “Who's He-Man?”. I've just admitted my plans for tonight involve a speed-dating event. Now we're workshopping conversation starters.

Geoff's nose had crinkled but then he laughed. “That's the kind of question only you could get away with, Dan.”

Louise, one of our other sub-editors, declares: “You can't ask that – it's too obvious!”

Nate Devenish chips in. “Man, if you get some chick that says she loves He-Man, you gotta get her home. It means she's into naked chests and furry underpants. That's a licence to do every-fucking-thing.”

Louise isn't even sitting next to Nate and I can see her try to scootch every atom of her body away from him without looking like she's trying to escape him.

“Hey Lou, who do you prefer then? He-Man vs McGuyver?” I ask.

“...He-Man.” Her cheeks flush with a dirty embarrassment. Nate doesn't even slow down to smirk about his rumoured triumph with Lou. He's the kind of guy who sees any conquest as a victory - he probably smirked while I was watching Lou's reaction. A voice in the back of my head speaks with Nate's voice: “I bet he blows his load too quickly in bed too, man!”. A voice in the front of my mind speaks with my voice and suggests it's time to see a psychiatrist.

Anyway, the real Nate just jumped on the conversation. “See, what you wanna do is imply you got this amazing control over your dick. It's all about your confidence, man. Doesn't matter if they're good looking or not – fuck, they can't all be pretty runs on your way to a century, right?”

The rest of the table ignores Nate or awkwardly reach for their beers. I'm nervous and desperate for advice. Gotta keep this conversation alive.

To continue reading, go to: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/notes/dan-does-nanowrimo/speed-dating/120495468014027

And to follow more of Dan's musings on dating, go here and click 'like':


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