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Tuesday 9 October 2012

Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman split: why long-term celeb splits always shock


Danny DeDevo'ed, in fact [okay, bad joke].

In celeb news just in, diminutive actor Danny DeVito and his wife actress Rhea Perlman have split.

It's always strangely disconcerting when celebs split. Like, you know, they really shoulda stayed together for OUR benefit.

Remember when Heidi and Seal [the fans of the whole renewing wedding vows while dressing up thing] split? Devo-ville.

And when Amy Poehler and Will Arnett split. Dev-ed. Again.

Is it because we really, truly think they have THE best life, so what can they possibly fight about? Missed mortgage payments? Fucking around on the Wii instead of taking you out to dinner? Dirty socks strewn around the joint [don't they have, like, a gazillion nannies/cleaners/maids?].

Who knows, maybe, just maybe, they have regular fights like we do.

Like, "why don't YOU cook tonight?!". Or, "what, you don't think I can clean a toilet properly?!". Or, "Where the feck did you put my books and shit?" [Okay, I am not talking about other couples anymore].

Most people will say, "What? After 30 years!? Haven't they figured their whole marriage dynamic thing out by now?"

You know what, maybe they stuck around each other for as long as they could tolerate it, until Danny said to Rhea, "That spag bol you make every night? Over it, sister." And maybe she replied, "That nose hair shit you leave in the bathroom sink? Had it, had it up to here!"

Okay, hypothesising here, obv.

But really, the moral of the story is: nobody really, truly know what happens in a marriage, especially a long-term one where there is loads of baggage and unfinished fights, and unresolved issues, and dealing with adult kids, and no work, and lingering insecurities, and unfixed bad habits. Even if they are celebs.

Are you also a bit devastated when celebrities who have been together for eons break up? Or don't care? Comment.

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