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Tuesday 20 November 2012

Six Ways to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage, by Laura Doyle

You know how sometimes you read a post and it kinda... resonates.

This is one of them.

This just appeared on The Huffington Post site - it's an article titled: "It's The Intimacy, Stupid: 6 Steps for Women to Stamp Out Divorce."

If you're married or living with your partner or in a serious relationship, you'll wanna read it. No, really. Oh, and share it:

Skill #1: Do at Least Three Things a Day for Your Own Pleasure
There's a direct correlation between your self-care and your level of tolerance for your husband. Self-care is a profound act for opening the door to intimacy. Relationships require patience and compassion, but if you're tired, frazzled or undernourished, you give yours little chance of thriving. Self-care -- focusing on your own pleasure -- takes the pressure off your husband to make you happy (he can't anyway). Your good mood also signals to him that he can succeed in delighting you, which inspires him to want to do just that. By treating ourselves well, we also teach other people how to treat us. Having fun every day is not only critical for a satisfying romance, it's part of a life well-lived.
Skill #2: Relinquish Control of People You Can't Control

"Helpful" in wife language is controlling in husband language. When you correct your man's driving or what he wears or does at work, you're saying he's not competent. That unwitting criticism is an attack and pushes intimacy away no matter how well-meaning your comment. Intimacy needs safety and encouragement to thrive, and vanishes with criticism. Take a step back and trust him to run his own life without any help from you, and watch him take a step forward and start acting like the man you fell in love with.

To read the rest of the piece, click here.

And for more on Laura, click here.

What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Your tried and true relationship success tips?

Below is a pic from Laura Doyle's Facebook page [https://www.facebook.com/lauradoyle.org] - she's a 'New  York Times' best-selling author of the controversially titled 'The Surrendered Wife' [http://www.surrenderedwife.com/], in which she says her focus is on "teaching every woman how it feels to be loved and cherished by a man who devotes himself to making her happy."

What are your thoughts on the concept?

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