Last week, a real-life stay-at-home dad Edy wrote about what a typical day as 'Mr Mum' looks like for him; you can read it here: http://josiesjuice.blogspot.com.au/2012/05/day-in-life-of-stay-at-home-dad-why-im.html.
Here are some of the fruits of Edy's labour as full-time 'house dad':
Wildly impressive, right?
Now, Edy explains why he and his wife Anne-Marie made the complete life transition, and why it works for them:
Why did I do it?
"After graduating from university in 1995, I’d been working
in IT (same as my wife). However, in 2005 I got quite sick. Over a period of
months, I lost nearly 40kg. When the doctors eventually found out what was
wrong, it turned out that I’d had lots of stomach ulcers, and when they healed
(with all the medication I’d been taking) they left scarring (hard tissue).
Anyway, I ended up having a duodenal by-pass (the doctor’s made an alternate
opening between my stomach and my small intestine) and now, aside from a small
scar across my tummy, everything is thankfully fine.
However, at the time, my wife suggested that we swap roles
as “it’s better to swap roles than have a dead husband”. So I stayed at home
and looked after our one child (Charlie) while she went back to work full-time.
This worked out well for her as well as she suffered quite severe post-natal
depression – her personality begged for adult interaction, whereas I was happy
to deal with kids.
Seven years later, and it’s the best decision we ever made.
We’ve had two more beautiful children and our family is complete. Sadly, we’ve
both lost all of our parents, so bringing up the kids is tough with minimal
help. But, the kids are getting older and more self-sufficient, so the light at
the end of the tunnel is approaching.
Would I recommend this lifestyle to other dads?
Absolutely! When we had our first child, I made a conscious
decision to be very involved in his life, especially as my own dad wasn’t
because of his work commitments. I was however, very close to my mum, which may
be why I have been able to cope with “domestic” life.
It’s funny (in a twisted sort of way) that my wife and I
have really swapped roles. She comes home from work, exhausted, and flops on
the couch with a drink, while I get her dinner. She then proceeds to tell me
all about her day and the trials and tribulations of working for a large IT
company, while I tell her what the kids did that day – how Henry did a great painting, or Gemma went
on an excursion, or Charlie got an award
at school. We are the typical family, only in reverse. The one thing I won’t do
though is wear a skirt.
There’s no joking though - it’s a tough life – much harder in
fact than when I was working in IT. The long hours, managing conflict, and
always having to be “on” is a drain on your physical AND mental faculties. But
it’s so much more enjoyable, seeing the kids develop and grow into their own
personalities. There’s just nothing on earth that compares to having your child
run up to you, give you a huge cuddle (nearly knocking you off your feet) and
say “daddy, I love you”.
But it’s not all hard work; I still find time to do the things I like – dabbling in computers, reading the newspaper, watching football, etc. For instance, this year I was approached by the local P & C to create a website for them. It was fun to get back into that “space”, but I don’t think I’d like to go back to full time work in that field again. I’m also the manager of Charlie’s soccer team.
I also took the time to do a Teacher’s Aide TAFE
Certificate, with a view to becoming a Teacher’s Aide next year when Henry goes
to kindergarten and Gemma is a preschool three days a week.
Being a stay-at-home dad has really opened my eyes to the
world of parenting. While being a tough gig, it’s probably the most rewarding
thing I’ve ever done and I’d definitely recommend it to other dads."
What did you think of Edy's story?
As a bloke, could you do it? Make the complete swap?
As a woman, would you love to have this 'role reversal' also happen in your home?
Would love to hear your thoughts...
This is just the thing that my partner and I are going to be doing in November when I go back to work full time. He will become the full time carer of our daughter who will be 7months then. We are both excited by the journey, as well as a bit daunted. Would love to know if you had the option to join any father groups, as we haven't been able to find anything in the area....
ReplyDeleteNice food picture.
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I love it, anon! And I will ask him about daddy groups now...
ReplyDeleteEd, you legend, lucky Anne-Marie & kidlets, have said it before but I'll say it again your cooking / baking rocks ...
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