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Friday 5 September 2014

Joan Rivers: her funeral wish

As Melissa Rivers said in her final statement about her mother Joan River’s death, “Although that is difficult to do right now, I know her final wish would be that we return to laughing soon."

Well, true to form, Joan is helping us laugh at her expense.

In her 2012 book, 'I Hate Everyone… Starting With Me', this is what she had this to say about her own funeral:

"When I die (and yes, Melissa, that day will come; and yes, Melissa, everything’s in your name), I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action…I want Craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the say. I don’t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents. I don’t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing “Mr. Lonley.” I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyoncé’s."
Bless. Funny and acerbic until the very end.

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